lupe fiasco – lasers


went t st nicks t see mr fong and miss chik, haha. lunch, dessert, movie, ride back. it’s leon’s first day “off” since forever!

funny how i really want t talk but once i’m with someone/some people i cant. maybe i need t drink…

well we spoke about my choices a bit. i need t think. it’s songwriting class again.

and, the results slip has arrived in the mail.

synthesizer/programming/synthesis, or, show/events. or maybe i’m not made t do music.


I guess the only explanation would be passion. The enthusiasm that can never be seen coming from me normally, overflows when it comes to creating music, writing lyrics, and running around an auditorium, and this passion can barely be controlled.

this is exaggerated and maybe even made-up? need t think.



“Say hip-hop only destroy, tell ’em look at me, boy
I hope your son don’t have a gun and never be a D-boy”

Lupe Fiasco – The Show Goes On


was tryna write my essay… a thousand words… here’s part of it.

Currently, as a “jobless, useless, functionless” person, as a lecturer of mine puts it, I am working on some hip-hop/rap songs, writing whenever I can, and coming up with beats and melodies on my laptop. I write on just about anything – my experiences, setbacks, accomplishments, the world, society, and life as I see, hear, or read it.

Many people do not think highly of hip-hop and rap, as most rapstars now blabber about money, alcohol, sex and guns. Hip-hop is not meant to be about fancy cars, riches and fame, or living the high life; the hip-hop I believe in speaks the truth about the world we live in, empowers those who are struggling, conquers fear, and sets people free.

on hold

so i’ve got 2 tracks written, waiting… wanting t record demos… no mic and no interface…

gon apply t Full Sail. hope this gets through.

looking through the words i’ve written… very similar and very different, at the same time… “you can’t be freed” / “definitely you’ll be free”.

2 tracks, written one week apart.

my life’s been that crazy.


just yesterday we were talking bout college application, scholarship application, when I got home I actually went t fill in the scholarship app form. worked out the numbers, getting hopes up, even prayed last night asking for Him t help me get into college.
what’d I get? an email at 5.31am saying no, i’ve not been accepted.
so what now? does the scholarship application continue if thr isn’t a college application? why am I even thinking bout that now? gotta get through letting this piece of news out t my folks first.
right now all I’m thinking really, is that I need t speak with Leon, and I don’t feel like doing anything, dont feel like going for my game this afternoon. damn.

Lunch with the Leon

got his email this morning, asking me t meet him in sp at 11am…. rush!

took over half an hour t do the interview in his office, which was quite awkward cause it had t be videoed for his analysis.

after which, went t say hi t dr. tan (?), and we ended up talking bout my uni application and scholarship application, and she printed out some form for me t fill in so Leon has t write me a testimonial…

headed out, and Leon was being annoying all the way, haha. kept insisting that i made the decision on whr t head for lunch. so we ended up at holland v and had trouble finding a parking space, and even saw 2 drivers fighting/arguing over who shld get the lot. yes, we live in a civilized society.

so we had lunch at Breko, whaat? Steph’s eating? Leon’s eating? yes, and yes. and we had frozen yoghurt and sat facing the main road. whaat.

so why the long post like this is an actual blog?

cause this is the first time since gradshow that i’m doing sth i’d want t remember/think about/do again.

not the interview, not quite the concern from dr. tan, not the food. more than that.

which also means, the past 2 full weeks i’ve been wasting my life away. ha.

anyway i’m writing lines, mostly rap stuff (cause i’m lazy t fit things t melodies, haha). i’d do demos if i can get a new interface+mic. sold my gear.

6 days till the end of the month, which means many things.


Nothing on earth is so well-suited to make the sad merry, the merry sad, to give courage to the despairing, to make the proud humble, to lessen envy and hate, as music.

– Martin Luther


i’m back at it. been writing a bit, coming up with some beats.

nothing much for now, just playing ard and making templates for future work.

seems like awhile since gradshow……

feeling so jobless, useless, functionless.